Who has inner saboteurs? You know these voices in your head that tell you:
- I am not good enough
- I can't seem to achieve things that are important to me
- I am a victim
As a consequence you find ways to tell yourself a story to get out of here:
- it's too hard, let's do something else
- these are the very rationale reasons why it won't work (as much as 2+2= 4)
- I knew it!
And the list goes on... everyone has their own responses to justify and feed their saboteurs.
It is not easy to unwire the inner saboteurs, as most of the time they have been around for a while. It does require some deeper work, and #coaching is a good tool to get to the bottom of it and rewrite your story differently.
However, there is a simple process that can help you reset things and rebalance your own storytelling when you know your saboteurs are lurking around:
1️⃣ 𝐀𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.
Sometimes life throws things at us and priorities have to adapt for a while - that's life, and that's ok. It does not mean you can't do it, but rather that you have to adjust your expectations. #agility is key.
2️⃣ 𝐋𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐫.
Are the priorities you are setting too ambitious. Saboteurs feed on super high achievers and overly-ambitious goals. Why? Because that's easier to miss something and not fully deliver on your own promise. You don't have to be at 130% all the time, show yourself a bit of #empathy.
3️⃣ 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥.
Much easier to fail when you get your attention on everything that went wrong that is not your fault (pick your choice: unexpected family events that shifted your priorities, unexpected company reorg that changed your career plans, clients who changed their mind last minute, etc...). What is it YOU can do? #navigate your options and (re)create your path for success.
📢 Remember: high standards + focus on things you can't really control = saboteurs party!
There are plenty of techniques and tools to handle your saboteurs (and plenty of different saboteurs).
Let me share an easy one to start with: the very simple and effective Circle of Control (follow the link in comments below to see the picture 👇 ).
👀 Look at it and ask yourself:
1️⃣ ▶ How much do I focus my energy on things I can really control?
2️⃣ ▶ What do I need to recontract with myself and achieve what I want?
3️⃣ ▶ How does it help me to keep my saboteurs at bay?
Ready to kick your saboteurs out?